Do You Miss Sex With Your Spouse?

September 5, 2020

by Atomic Mommy Editors

UPDATED: November 7, 2021

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Are kids getting in the way of sex with your spouse? There’s no shame in admitting that maybe, just maybe, we let our sex life go to the dumps the minute that we all had kids. And you’re probably thinking, How the heck do I get a quickie in with a toddler screaming or teens stomping around the house at all seconds of the day? YOU HAVE TO STEAL YOUR MOMENTS!

a couple planning to have sex — Photo by KoolShooters on Pexels.com

First rule of thumb, it’s time to let go of the myth that quickies are loveless, boring, and no fun! In fact, if done properly, a quickie can be full of love, mystery, fun, and even bring back that flirty feeling!

So, how does one go about making a scheduled quickie, fun? Number one, don’t fully schedule it. Take a look at your iPhone calendar or planner, check what day and what blocks of time you have 15 minutes to spare, and then memorize those days and timeframes.

Then on one of those days, whisper in your partner’s ear or text, Today is gonna be your lucky day — meet me in the bathroom at (enter a time of day). To your partner, it’ll feel like a spontaneous act. To yourself, it’ll feel like you’re not interrupting whatever is scheduled for that day.

Pre-nookie time, do a little body prep work. Get up 30 minutes earlier than normal or schedule a session at your salon. If you wouldn’t show that part of your skin at the beach, then it shouldn’t be seen during a quickie. Make a point to take care of it. Whether it’s shaving those legs, waxing that special area, or wearing something to boost your confidence — get it done. A little self-care before a quickie won’t hurt anyone.

Here’s the fun part, for once you don’t need to over think anything. Let go! Shed the mom uniform, the dad-itude, and be in the moment. Smile at your partner, look at your partner with lustful eyes, then lean in and take the kiss. It’s like riding a bike and your body will handle everything that follows. There’s only one rule… No thinking about your kids!

Easier said than done? Maybe you’re worried the kids will walk in on you. Here’s the best part and before you over analyze what I’m about to say, remember you’re doing this to reclaim your sex life!

Give your kids whatever it is they were asking for all week. Did they ask to play Roblox or Minecraft? Let them! Did your teens ask to go to the mall on that day? Give ’em a gift card and send them off! Do your kids just wanna watch YouTube all afternoon? Ship them to their rooms with movie candy in hand! The point is not to feel guilty and not to feel like a crappy parent because this is for you and your partner.

The Takeaway

Keep in mind we were girlfriends before wives, we were flirting in the corner at bars before marriage, and we used to giggle at the dumbest stuff when we liked someone. Let’s try to remember that making each other feel good in or out of the bedroom is just as important as being a great parent!