Happy Parenting and Poop Smears

Updated: October 1, 2020

Happy parenting and poop smears

These are the most feared moments in any parent’s life and it can happen at any given time.

Imagine yourself sitting quietly on the couch, attempting to finish your cold coffee like I was when out of nowhere, your child does a Matrix-like maneuver off the couch thus leaving poop smears all over the couch cushions, her belly, her back, her forearm, and the worst area of all — under her finger nails. This is what happy parenting and poop smears are all about!

Enter the hubby who started making vomit sounds and cursing up a storm as he ran her up the stairs to wash her off and what ensued was a barrage of crying, mostly from him. The dreaded portion was left to moi!

There I was, elbow deep in poop clay and smears, with rubber gloves trying to wipe away as much of it from the couch creases as possible. After a couple of seconds, I said screw it and out the cushions went, onto my front yard.

They got hosed down via the jet stream and unbeknownst to me, the jet started causing the poop to bounce off the cushions and pieces started to fly everywhere — including at my head!

Enter the Blue Queen

That’s when I decided it was time for my weapon against the worst of stains, Dawn – this queen gets out pretty much every stain, including olive oil and lipstick. I’m not a fan of recommending too many items, but this one is my knight in shining armor.

Her and my trusty scrubby took to the cushions. The more I scrubbed, the more it smeared. The more it smeared, the more I teared.

Goof Proof Actually Works

To my surprise, Dawn didn’t work for the poop smears. I was shocked! Finally, I went into the house and got that green box that comes with all of Bob’s couches — Goof Proof! That sucker worked like a charm and in less than five minutes of scrubbing both cushions, I was able to see a stain free couch. I let the cushions air out in the sun for a full 24 hours.

The next day I pulled the couch covers off and threw them in the wash with regular detergent and fabric softener. As those washed, I sniffed the cushions for any remnants of that awful smell. To my surprise, there was no trace on either of them.

Since I’m anal, I decided to spray each cushion with Lysol and again, with Febreeze. I let each one dry for another 24 hours before bringing them back in the house. Now, my cushions are clean, fully sanitized, they smell good, and the poop smear is all a bad memory!

Oh and my daughter walked away with giggles while my hubby left with a scarred brain.

Happy Parenting! For more parenting fails, check out the blog here