Super Mom is Dead

by Kimberly Pangaro | Kimberly is a mom of four daughters and the owner of the lifestyle parenting media company Atomic Mommy. When she’s not running her company or momming all day, she’s writing about family life.

UPDATED: December 13, 2021.

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Let’s be honest with ourselves, how many of us are really a super mom? Sure, our children think we are and our husbands can’t seem to handle as much as we can, but the truth is we are not super moms!

Here’s How We Know We’re Not Super Moms.

#1 There never seems to be a day when we finally “Finish” doing the laundry.

#2 We never seem to have a perfectly clean home for guests to stop by whenever the f*ck they want to.

#3 We sometimes forget expired items in the back of the fridge.

#4 Believe it or not, those Cheetos are going to stay under the couch.

#5 We occasionally let candy deal with a moody child.

#6 We tell our kids the park is closed because we are too exhausted to take them.

#7 We think of showers as a luxury rather than a necessity.

Why Do We Need to be Super Moms?

I’d love to find out who came up with the phrase “super mom” and kick that person square in their shins! No, I don’t want to be a super mom nor should I be made to feel like I somehow failed at motherhood for not wanting to be one.

We are so busy taking care of everyone else’s needs that we forget to take care of ourselves. What does that lead to? Well, I’ll tell ya… it leads to fatigue, stress, higher cortisol levels in the body (particularly around the mid-section), anger, rage, yelling fits, stomping of the feet, hair loss, mood swings, a lower sex drive, and an unholy feeling of rejection.

Why? Because society taught us to reject ourselves as mothers if we are NOT super moms! I’m here to tell you, we deserve a break from our over-analytical selves. We don’t need to be anything to anyone other than what we feel is necessary.

Lower Your Expectations

When we were growing up, they told us we could be anyone, we could do anything, and that we could handle it all. Well, whoever THEY were, LIED!

It’s more than fair to say that the expectations of the previous generations for us, were a bit overreaching. Honestly, with the way that we run around – day in and day out – Superman couldn’t do our jobs!

It’s time for us to lower the expectations for ourselves and for our daughters’ sanities. One day, they will grow up and wonder why they were pushed so hard to be everything and everyone for anyone who came into their lives. It’s okay to to just be.

The Takeaway

So, when you’re chatting with yourself or with your daughters, remember this. We should feel like we are winning every day and not failing constantly. The only way to do that, is by lowering our expectations for ourselves and our children. Let’s not teach them to feel like failures before they even grow into whoever they’re going to be.

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