How Loving Yourself Positively Impacts Your Relationship With Your Children

cheerful ethnic mother hugging children lying in bed

Your children learn their behavior from you. So teach them how to love themselves by loving yourself. Here’s a quick guide!


by Sade Jenkins | Sade Jenkins is a Self-care Management Specialist, providing moms with wellness products and services to help mothers reconnect with their happiness after having kids. You can connect with her by visiting her site www.sadejenkins.com.

This post contains affiliate links. To learn more about affiliate links and how they work, please read our Affiliate Disclaimer HERE.


As moms we do so much for others and so little for ourselves. Have you ever considered that your kids may learn about self-love through how you love yourself? I know it is something we may not consider, but it is truly a thing.

If this is a struggle for you, I got you covered. Here’s how loving yourself positively impacts your relationship with your children.

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#1 Acknowledging Me

As a busy mom myself, I understand how we can get lost in the ongoing cycle of wearing multiple hats. I’ve learned that when we allow ourselves to take a few of those hats off it can create space for more personal care time. Through learning this I started developing awareness of the potential things that I could add more into my life.

The first lesson that stuck out was understanding what I was missing. This question can feel very uncomfortable first, but it really helps. It helps you look at any potential gaps that may be present in your personal life.  The bonus of self-reflection helps you get excited about adding new things into your life such as positive self-talk or having a solo date. Using this tool, it can encourage you to be more aware of what you want more of and what you want less of in your life. 

The surprising thing about adding this simple, but impactful tool into my life, was that it inspired my kids to get to know themselves more. There is nothing like having a tool that creates a shift in the whole household. 

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#2 Who, What & Why

Would you like to know a huge secret to this self-love and self-care journey? The secret is truly getting to know yourself in and out. Yes, the good, bad, ugly, and pretty. I know it doesn’t sound fun, but the breakthrough of understanding yourself on a deeper level feels so amazing! Here’s how to start the process and potentially encourage your kids as well.

Get to know yourself by writing lists in categories.  The first list could be on what you like and don’t like right now. The second list could be what things sound exciting or make you feel excited. With this second list, allow yourself to use your imagination a little bit. The last list could be the things you always wanted to try, but never did. The purpose behind the list is to get you motivated, excited and out of your comfort zone. Going outside our comfort zone for positive things creates positive shifts in how we feel in life. The bonus about doing this is your kids get to see you be courageous and excited about life. Seeing you operate in this way influences your kids to take on new ideas, be excited about change and more confident in themselves.

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#3 The Shift

I’ve learned putting myself out there to try more and want more can literally shift the entire household. I think as moms we forget how big of an influence we carry in our households. Having that influence can be amazing when we use it to benefit everyone. The top influence that we carry is how we treat ourselves throughout the day.

Everyone knows that our schedule can get crazy at times but what if the craziness of being constantly busy could be affecting our kids. Think about the days where we run like crazy, but we don’t take any breaks. Our little ones see that, and they want to copy it. Believe me I understand it can be difficult to stop because we have so many things on our brain. To help with that I recommend doing scheduled breaks throughout the day.

Yes, a planned break time will help you to pause. The great thing about this is that you can make it as long or short as you need it to be. I love doing 5 to 10 minutes of dancing to relax my mind and body. 

Believe me this will be a gamechanger within your home. Remember your kids are watching so if mommy is taking more breaks, then the kids will too. 

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#4 The Family Glow Up

We all know the phrase “if mommy is happy everyone is happy”, but what if it could be “if my mommy is happy everyone is healthy”?  I know this is an interesting take on the phrase, but hear me out.

When we show up for ourselves, everyone else will learn to do the same for themselves. Taking care of yourself by eating well, sleeping well, and taking care of your mental health is about so much more than just self-love. All of these things are intricate pieces to the puzzle of your family growing and flourishing together. Doing all of these things encourages happiness, peace, positive impacts on growth, and so much more. So on those crazy days where you want to put yourself last, remember that this isn’t just for you, it is for your family as well. 

Try to remind yourself that you’re deserving of personal time because you give your all for everyone, so do the same for yourself. Be mindful not to look at self-love as something extra. Instead, look at it as something that is a part of your daily lifestyle. 

The Takeaway

As you have read, loving yourself positively impacts your relationship with your children. And while being mother has so many great benefits to it, it is also important to recognize how motherhood can take a toll on us mentally. I hope that at the very least, this article helps you feel excited and open to creating more space in your life for time for yourself. And with a bit of luck and preparation, this list of ideas will help you to grow self-love within your home.

Keep growing and glowing mamas!


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